The million-mile-long post.

Take a good look. these people, these events...

The reasons why I never want to go back to Cedar...

Chiss, Chex, and Chall

Me, Miss and Shalli took Friend pictures! check out the rest-

Lexigphotography.blogspot.com

sometimes Tanner drives us around for a long time and we

sing to him in return.

Me and Jaysa play scenarios every time we're together

now days. It makes her giggle a LOT. her laugh is my favorite.

Me and shall are real talented cheerleaders.......

Cage is starting to realize who his favorite aunt is..

it took some time. but he knows now.

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up

Really? how cute is she?!

so happy. This was Christmas Eve and the

girl didn't go to sleep until 1:00 AM!

Paisley is taking after her Aunt Lexi.

This was my first Christmas without Miki.

Don't get me wrong, I missed Keesha, Brandon, Cage, Jen, Ky

Sadie and Saylin a TON. But i'm used to them either not being there,

or being in another room.

But for 17 years I've slept in the same bed with Miki on Christmas Eve

and we stayed up most hours of the night talking about Christmas and

making ourselves just to wake up at 5:00 Am to open presents until our

parents made us sleep for another hour.

This year I saw Christmas before I even went to sleep. That's weird for me.

Then I went to sleep and woke up at 7:00 because everyone else was up

making noise.... I could have slept straight through Christmas!!

WEIRD feeling. Growing up I mean.. oh well. Can't stop that!

Anyways, Christmas was great. I got to spend it with my parents,

Sister Genis and her family and my grandparents. I've never seen kids

so excited to see what Santa brought them. Cutest thing ever.

Here are a few pictures of Christmas Eve and Christmas..

(Keesh spent the Eve with us)

(the creepy cinderella picture was a must..)

To Lou and Ross! Cutest dad in the world, huh?

yep. take a gooooood look. This is me. ^^

Now get to know me. Because it's been awhile...

I'm a student at SUU.

I'm a studio art major.

{Why? I haven't taken a painting or drawing class and I am

totes not staying here all 20 years of college so I probably won't even

major at SUU.. but uhh..soon to be Photography..

student? maybe major..cool}

I have dark brown hair with a skunk stripe.

I don't know why.. but why not?

I have recently, and unfortunately become one of the girls who plans

her unrealistic wedding on pinterest.

It's not my fault there are a million cute couples and married

people around me. can't wait until that day when I join in on the fun.

But I guess I have so many important things to do until then.. so it can hold off.

The last little fact about me..

I'm also very naive. and the worst part is.. I didn't even know I was so naive.

Maybe I'm the only one.. but it finally hit me how the world works.

People will hate me for no reason. People will hate me because I'm a

certain way, or because I'm NOT a certain way.

People will hate me because of things they THOUGHT I've done

or they'll hate me for things I have done and didn't even realize I was doing.

and holy crack! that concept caused me a LOT of grief over my Christmas break

until a few nights ago I just realized.. out of no where

that who the heck cares?

Actually I care. And I need to work on my

attitude problems and being nice. I feel like when I was younger I cared so

much if people liked me so I would try to please everyone.. in my opinion

I think that was great of me. haha and now... I've become sooo careless.

Which also has it's ups.. but a bigger down. I don't care if

people like my clothes, or my art, or my hair or any stupid thing

(which is an UP)

.. but I also don't care if they like me.

Which is awful of me. I should care! I should constantly

be watching my actions and making sure I'm nice to people and alllll

of that important stuff!

In church today we talked about living what we believe.

We read from a book from the teachings of George Albert Smith and he

had 11 ideals that he committed to live by.. we traded off reading and this was his ideal that I read:

"I would not knowingly wound the feelings of any, not even one who may have wronged me,

but would seek to do him good and make him my friend"

wake up call! right? I don't think it was just a coincidence I read that one...

and to go even farther.. the other day I read this;

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."

-Thomas S. Monson

I think my Heavenly Father needed to wake me up a bit.

I've been blessed with more than I could ever deserve.

back to living what I believe.. Later in the book it reads;

"Our obedience to the gospel- not just our church membership-qualifies us to be called Saints"

Hi Lexi. Saying I'm LDS doesn't mean I have a free ticket to

any great thing I want.. It means I believe in the Latter Day Saint gospel.

My OBEDIENCE to the gospel is what qualifies me to be a saint. and in my opinion

qualifies me to claim to be LDS and express what I believe.

I have to work my hardest now! I should never be ok

with being OK. I'm not into the whole resolution thing...

BUT I'm trying it out this year. no certain ones. just making myself better

in the places I lack. Especially in the kindness area.

In 1 John 4:19 it says;

We love him, because he first loved us.

what an excellent example right? We love God because he loved us first.

What if we love someone first? Maybe.. just maybe if I try with all my heart

to love every person I meet.. and I meant truly love them. Not

just think they're pretty, or fun, but actually love them like the way I love my family.

NO MATTER WHAT.

No matter what goes on in my family.. I can't help but love them.

{Of course my family is easy to love.. I am fortunate.}

Everyone has heard the quote that goes something like..

If you stop loving them is wasn't love in the first place..

so yeah.. I mean real love.

ANYWAYS

MAYBE

If I love everyone I meet, maybe something great could come of it.

Maybe I'll feel happier and never feel sorry for myself and the

situations I have to deal with.

It's worth a try right?

So. here's what's happening.

HATE is no longer in my vocabulary.

It's an over used word that means nothing but negative, strong emotions that I don't really feel, and have never felt.

LOVE is a word I'm going to use more of.

Most people think it's over used.. and to be honest.. I think that's the opposite of what it is.

Just because I LOVE YOU doesn't mean I'm IN love with you.

I don't think I should ever be ashamed of telling someone I love them like I do sometimes feel.

so many people in my life have such amazing qualities that make up for the

qualities I don't have and that is something I love.

Those qualities build character.. and that makes me love their character.

{P.S. this post just became my journal I realized. take it or leave it.}

eh anyways.

college. starts. today.

[it's now 2 AM.. sorry mom]

I'm motivated.

I'm excited.

I feel like something in me just switched..

Although the cold still gives me a little depression,

It's like my insides just flipped upside down.

I'm happy to be in Cedar.

There. I said it.

I have missed some of the greatest opportunities in high school, and in college.

I've made a million mistakes I wish I could take back

(I know, I know "Never wish to take back mistakes because they make you who you

are and they teach you lessons... lalalala")

Well guess what. I wish I could take them back.

And me wishing I could take them back has made me depressed.

I mean.. maybe not really depressed, but it's made me want to have a pity party

for myself way too often.

But the last two days in Cedar hanging out with Emma, Mikey and

even some new friends I've made and also going to my OWN ward has made me happy.

Maybe even in a little bit more time it can make me just as happy as I am when I

am in St. George.

This transition has been very hard for me. I can honestly say that

my first semester was one of the hardest and worst things I've ever had to go

through. I felt like nothing I did made me happy. I went home every

weekend to be with my family and my best and closest friends rather than

making friends in the town I ACTUALLY lived in. I knew it wasn't

the right thing for me to do.. but it was the only thing that made my stomach not hurt

and my eyes not cry. HAHA. (I'm so sorry mom for all the late night phone calls.)

Now that I just typed that and admitted that I hope it wasn't premature.

I mean, I'm not a changed person already. haha

So. here I am.

A 18 year old living on her own 45 minutes from home.

Ready to go to school and get better at math,

ready to study diversity in difference cultures, religions and races,

ready to take a 3 hour photography class twice a week and become THE best at it.

And last but not least..

ready to become closer to my Heavenly Father because that's what is making

me happy here in Cedar.

Becoming closer to my Heavenly Father is what gives me motivation,

helps me make friends, and gives me a reason to feel important.

Hope everyone finds what makes them happy.

I hope everyone figures out their priorities and takes the time to

LOVE people. Do it with me ok? It'll help me out a ton.

Happy Monday.

Make it a great week!

Love,

Lexi Lou

P.s i'm too tired to look over this and find my mistakes.. sooo just forgive me ok? Thanks!