Oh me, oh my

Where have I been? Hmm.. Let's see.. I have no idea. This past MONTH has been a blur. Sounds a little sketchy.. but it's completely true. I'll say it even though I'm more than ashamed of it..

I have lost my motivation.

But don't lose sleep over it. Because I'm slowly coming back. slowly, but surely..right?

sure.

I don't know if these are reasonable excuses.. but here they are anyways.

1. It snows here.

{enough said, right?}

2. I go to St. George way too much.

3. I'm bored.

[I hate to say that because I heard people who say they're bored die quicker.. hmm]

I've officially got bored of college. I expected a HUGE change from high school and it hasn't been that. I guess I had my whole experience planned out and that wasn't a very good idea for me. Now, before you go off thinking I'm writing a negative post.. just don't.

I waited to write this once my attitude changed. No need for everyone to feel the negativity. Anyways..

I have been STUCK. I've felt like I am not progressing in anything I've been doing.

It's awful, this roller coaster I'm on.. One minute I LOVE college and my classes..

the next I have no motivation and could care less about school.

-side note-

I feel like all my posts lately are about how I had a bad attitude and then how I changed it..

So, I apologize for my repetitiveness (is that even a word? sure.)

Because my blog has become a type of journal for me, I feel like I'm allowed to write whatever I choose, and you have the choice of reading it, or not.

So. This is how things have gone since Christmas break..

I absolutely loved being back. I worked on homework, I was excited for my film photography class, I kept up with cleaning, and I had made a goal to not go to St. George every weekend and I hung out with new people, and friends every night.

recently.. I've gone to St. George every weekend. I've slacked and got behind on my homework, because I go to St. George so often I haven't kept up on cleaning my room or buying groceries, I usually don't hang out anymore because I feel so tired always, I dislike all of my classes, and I slack so much I ALWAYS feel stressed.

How about that? A little bit of a turn around, huh? My mom texted me this week and said, "There is a time in EVERYONE'S life that you have to really dig down and change your attitude because the situation won't change. It's amazing what the mind can do!"

I was TICKED that she sent that to me. I don't WANT to change my attitude.. I want the dang situation to change! Well.. this brings me back to my pal Charles Swindoll and my favorite quote of this that hangs RIGHT on my wall..

(I bolded my favorite parts for ya)

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.

Well, there ya have it. Said from a pretty remarkable man.

I am in charge of my attitude. Just like my mom told me.

It will MAKE or BREAK my experiences, and I've allowed it to break mine.

The last two weeks I decided I am not made for college. I am a visual learner, and I learn from doing. I am an artist and should NOT have to sit in 7 hours of math a week, 3 hours of intro to diversity, and in a photography classesI should DEFINITELY not have to sit through 6 hours of lectures a week. I also decided that after I finished this semester I would either go to Dixie State College just until I got my associates, or I would go to an Art Institute up North.

Well. I think I'm staying at SUU. I need to finish what I've started.

I read one of President Monsons talks this week and this is what he said in it..

"You should study and prepare for your life's works in a field that you enjoy, because you are going to spend a good share of your life in that field. If should be one which will challenge your intellect and which will make maximum utilization of your talents and your capabilities."

and the next paragraph reads,

"While this counsel would apply to young men, it also has revelance to young women. There are situations in life which we cannot predict which will require employable skills. In speaking to the young women's of the church two years ago, President Hinkley said, 'In this day and time, a girl needs an education. She needs the means and skills by which to earn a living should she find herself in a situation where it becomes necessary to do so'"

So there ya go.. I guess I am the "college" type of girl. What they say, goes.

Now that I've established that I am going to HAVE to TRY and be that type of girl, what about how awful I am at school?

..Don't worry, President Monson covered that too..

"You simply have to apply yourself. I hope that you want to be so del equipped that you can compete in this competitive world. I hope that you will learn to take responsibility for your decisions, whether they be in your courses of study which you elect to take, or whether they be in the direction of the academic attainments which you strive to achieve."

Well, that's a lot hard said than done.. and I think he knew that would happen..

"Should you become discouraged or feel burdened down, remember that others have passed this same way; they have endured and then have achieved. When we have done all that we are able to do, we can the rely on God's promised help."

"You have access to the lighthouse of the Lord. There is NO fog so dense, no night so dark, no mariner so lost, no gale so strong as to render useless the lighthouse of the Lord. It beckons through the storms of life. It seems to call to you and me; 'This way to safety, this way to home.'"

I know it feels like I'm posting just most of his talk but it is an EXCELLENT talk and it fits my situation MORE than perfectly.

He later says this in it,

"My young brothers and sisters, don't take counsel of your fears. Don't say to yourselves, 'I'm not wise enough, or, I can't apply myself sufficiently well to study this difficult subject or in this difficult field, so I shall choose the easier way.' I plead with you to tax your talent, and our Heavenly Father will make you equal to those decisions."

WOW.

What a promise that is. If I tax my talents, just push myself as far as I can, my Heavenly Father with make me equal to those decisions. If I work as hard as I can, he will help me to succeed.

I can do college.

I can get a degree.

I can PASS my classes

IF

I study,

I take the required classes I need and participate,

I work hard and always do my best.

I ask my Heavenly Father for help.

Because of my poor attitude I AM behind in the things I need to do. That means I have to take responsibility and work twice as hard to get caught up. But, I can do it.

and I WILL do it.

I feel like I've been waiting for my life to start..

like, once I get my degree, I'll be happy.. I can actually do what I want.

Once it's summer, I can work on becoming better at art.

When I move out of this house, I'll be better at cleaning up in the next one.

When I'm married.. I'll be H A P P Y.

Hmm. Obviously something isn't right about that thought process.

President Uchtdorf said this,

"Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger and experience joy."

Later in the talk he says;

"Enduring adversity is not the only thing you must do to experience a happy life, let me repeat; how you REACT to adversity and temptation is a critical factor in whether or not you arrive at your own, Happily Ever After"

President Uchtdorf also said in another talk,

"if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us."

He tells us to be happy now.

So ask yourself.. are you happy NOW?

I keep waisting my time wishing for things, and hoping that things will just fall into place rather than making things happen, and being happy with my decision or taking responsibility for what didn't happen.

Try working on this JUST for a week. It's something I'm working on to and I know that if I put ALL of my effort into, that my Heavenly Father will make up for what I lack.

You're not fully dressed without a smile..

Happy Wednesday friends!

{and Leap day}

xoxo

Lexi Lou

P.s check out how funny this is;

I remember one time my sister telling me how usually people change their appearance, especially their hair while they go through changes.. (I think I was told that) anyways, If it's true.. I haven't just been on a roller coaster with my school.. check this out..

These changes were all within one year.

At the beginning of 2011 I had blonde hair..

Around February of 2011 I switched it to brown..

At the end of April, early May in 2011 I switched it to a more red brown..

At the beginning of the summer of 2011 I changed it to brown again..

At the end of summer, in August of 2011 I cut bangs and got a melt..

at the end of October in 2011 I went back to brown..

At the end of November and all through December I had red hair..

At the end of January of 2012 I went dark brown and got a blond piece..

The beginning of February I chopped it all off..

and towards the middle of February (and now) I got another piece of blonde

on the other side.

welp. I don't really know what that says about me.. but there are a lot of changes within a year.. physical and emotional, spiritual, mental, whatevs... etc.. I couldn't help but laugh! haha enjoy..